I told the world how much I hate being pregnant. I can't see my toes. I have 10 items of clothing left that I can wear and I am rotating these. My hips hurt, my lower back hurts, I am out of breathe faster and more often now. Jensen seems to like to stretch out his arms and legs in every direction at the same time, and constantly move. I feel like I am as big as a house. It has been nice for a few days (70-75 degrees) and I begged my husband to turn on the air conditioning. I have no idea how women are pregnant in the heat!
I am 33 weeks and a few days...
My cervix is still shortening and I am on a round of steroid shots just in case Jensen decides to come early, (which they think he will)
Jakah was born at 38 weeks, I am expecting, hoping, wishing, praying, and crossing my fingers that Jensen will come around the same time. There are a few reasons it would be nice. Casey has to go to training 2 days after Jensen's due date, I'd like him to be in the same state for the birth, or not leaving right after. I'd also like to not share my birthday with him, so he needs to be after 37 weeks. (I'm selfish like that) Oh and the number 1 reason, I'd be done and he'd be here.
38 weeks is 5 weeks from now... or about a month.... yikes! Which moves me onto my next thoughts.
As much as I want to be done, I have realized I still have to go threw labor. And it scares the crap outta of me. It scared me the first time, cause I didn't know what to expect. It scares me this time because I do know what to expect. I hate hospitals, needles, the whole sh-bang. I am worried about being home with Jakah and going into labor, Casey working 100 miles away (he doesn't work at the same place everyday) and I have to drive myself. Worried I will have Jensen in the car. (I have fast labor, Jakah was 9 hours from start to finish) Worried I can't find anyone to watch Jakah (having trouble lately just being able to go to the Dr and get internal ultrasounds done alone) Worried about bringing Jensen home and how Jakah will react. Worried about being able to go grocery shopping with both of them. Or being so tired from all the feedings that Jakah is neglected. Those are just a few worries going threw my head in a single day. (weird I know)
I know 90% of these are silly worries and everything will be fine. Its just all unknown and the control freak in me is just going haywire. And I really don't want to go threw labor, but its too late to turn back now! Ha ha!
I am truly worried about going into labor alone with Jakah, having to drive myself to the hospital and then try to manage him there alone. It makes me nauseous just thinking about it. I wish I could feel better about it but with the way things are going lately that is what is going to happen. (again un-reliable babysitters / family)
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