Wednesday, August 22, 2012

WTF Wednesday - Thank You card etiquette

I'll be the first to say, I am a thank you card fanatic.

I write thank you cards for just about anything and everything. Someone gives a gift to my kid, thank you card gets popped into the mail. Friend does something awesome and nice, thank you card is sent. Even with Jakah's birthday or Christmas presents. I write out the thank you cards, and he colors in them since he can't write yet. He even colors or puts stickers on the envelopes.

I may go a little overboard.

But really who doesn't like getting a little card in the mail saying "Thanks" for being kind?

That being said, when I don't receive a thank you card, it makes me upset. My husband thinks I am weird about it. But really I think its poor manners not to send a thank you card.

For example, we went to his cousins wedding in March. I usually always give money as a gift. I liked getting money and using it to pick out whatever we wanted. Anyways now that I am off track, the wedding was in March. I have yet to receive a thank you card.

Seriously....WTF

I know with weddings, or babies things get hectic. A month grace period is usually enough time. But its been 5 months. And no thank you card.

I think its rude.

I usually have thank you cards sent out within a week of receiving a gift. Sure I am awesome. But 5 months? We haven't even gotten a thank you e-mail. (which for a wedding gift would be quite tacky)

Is this normal? Am I being a crazy thank you card fanatic here? Have people lost their manners? Am I the only one who sends out thank you cards anymore?

How do you feel about thank you cards? Do you write them? Do you have your kids write them?

Even though I have boys, They will be sending out thank you cards for things.

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16 comments:

  1. I love thank you notes, too. I think they are very important! That said, sometimes no thank you is better than a bad thank you. I once received a pre-printed thank you card from a married couple. They didn't even hand-write my name at the top! I wholly regret the $150 gift I gave them.

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    1. Whoa I have never seen pre-printed thank you cards. That is pretty bad!

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  2. I love getting them & always have huge plans of sending them out but I suck. My family never did them so I never had that habit formed. I did actually get some out after A was born. It's definitely something I want to work on!

    Sara
    mommysummers.com

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    1. At least you attempt to do them! Some stuff I get not sending a card, but a wedding gift?

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  3. I am not really into thank you notes. I am more into personal thank you calls and chats. Don't tell me thanks, show me it. Spend the time with me, help me when I need it etc. I guess that is just my personal take.

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    1. In some instances I can see that. But for a wedding gift or baby gift that I have given to someone, a thank you card is appreciated. So far we have gotten nothing from this couple. Not even a thank you call.

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  4. I am a thank you nut! My kids can't play with a new item until they've written a thank you.

    I have people in my life who don't write thank yous and it makes me feel hurt--like I took the time to {make a meal, drive 3 hours to visit your new baby, buy you an expensive gift} and you are "too busy" to write a thank you? With my SIL in particular (the one who took 1 year to send a wedding thank you for a $200 gift) I always want to send a birthday card that says "I'm sorry I didn't get you a gift but I didn't have time and you don't appreciate them anyway" but I tend to take the higher road :)

    I know some people think thank yous are a waste of time but I don't think gratitude is ever a bad thing to show :)

    My other pet peeve: "general" thank you cards--like brides/grooms who do a photo thank you with no personal note? Lame! What's your thought?

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    1. I totally agree, and I always take the higher road also! I did a photo thank you card, we wore shirts that said Thank You (before it was cool to do it, maybe they are following my lead) But then I also wrote on the inside of the card a heartfelt thank you. To each and every person (or couple)!
      But I would agree, without a personal note its kinda lame. But then I guess its better than not getting one at all

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  5. I think you definitely should have received a thank you card for that occasion, but I would probably just let it go. For me I am not big on thank you cards at all. I probably wouldn't notice if I didn't get one, unless it was something big or really important. However, I do try to send them out when the opportunity arises because it is a nice thing to do and some people do pay attention to it.

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    1. Its nice to get a card expressing appreciation. Especially for a big occasion like a wedding. Makes me wonder if I should have even given them anything (not that I would do that)

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  6. I have to admit that I'm bad about things like birthday gifts for my kids- my kids have to thank their relative on the phone or in person the next time they see them, but not so much cards. Different for weddings and showers and things, I think.

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    1. At least you have then call of thank them in person. I think that's the equivalent for boys :)

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  7. It is kind of sad that the traditional thank you card tradition is falling by the wayside. or like you say, the email is replacing it - which is certainly tacky in some situations. I don't know if people are too busy, unaware, or just lazy. I know I don't have home addresses for most people I know, and many are unlisted in phone books these days - but what about next time you see them?
    I don't do thank you cards for birthday gifts in the traditional sense: I attach the thank you note to the goodie bag (which in my opinion is a pretty good thank you itself since they can cost a small fortune to make). My children must call relatives who send gifts though.
    As for myself, I'd rather a personal call to the individual, but sometimes I do see "just the perfect card for her" and have to get it.

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    1. They are falling to the wayside :( Jakah doesn't talk on the phone, so its easier to just have him color in a card lol I'm sure eventually it will just move to a call though

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  8. I am big on sending Thank You cards. That said I don't worry about getting them, especially not for things like weddings or baby showers because they get sent out in huge lumps and are such a "mandatory"thank you. I prefer the times when a Thank You note comes and surprises me out of the blue because someone was touched by something I did that was also a little out of the blue. I guess I just figure that Thank You cards by the rule book just don't necessarily mean all that much. I'd rather have someone call me up to say thank you from the heart or...just about anythign that doesn't feel so forced.

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    1. Surprise thank you cards and calls are always awesome! I just really think that "thanking" people, either by card or phone has fallen and people just don't do it anymore

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